The Misadventures of Gnar
by dALEkilLsU
Summary: Gnar, the adorable new champion, has some rather interesting adventures and mishaps with the other champions.
1. Gnar, Master of Cards

****This is a collection of short stories about Gnar, the ass-kicking, lane-dominating, adorable-as-hell new champion. The inspiration for this comes mostly from 'Playtime With Gnar', a fan made series of comics involving Gnar, and his various shenanigans with the other champions. It's a really cute little series, and you should go check it out. (After you finish reading this, of course.)****

****Important Note: There will be similarities between some of the stories I'll be posting here, and some from Playtime With Gnar. A number were directly inspired by that series. My intent is not to plagiarize or steal any of these ideas. All credit for Playtime With Gnar goes to the owner of that series. Who is not me.****

****I also do not own Gnar himself, or any other character affiliated with League of Legends.****

****Anyways, legal crap out of the way, on with the stories!****

Chapter One: Gnar, Master of Cards

"Hey! Anyone seen my deck?" Twisted Fate called down the hallway.

__Gnar sat there, deep in concentration. This moment could determine the very fate of the universe. One wrong move could end existence as he knew it.__

"Seriously, the match is starting soon. Anyone?!" His deck had been missing for over an hour now, and he'd been scouring the building looking for it.

__He moved in, sweat dripping off his forehead as he slowly, ever so slowly placed the final piece.__

__Perfect.__

__Just then, as Gnar stepped back to admire his work, there came a knock at his door.__

"Ovagarava?" Gnar said, raising an eyebrow.

Twisted Fate entered, speaking; "Hey Gnar, you seen my deck of cards anywhere?" He asked. "It's been missin' for a while now, and the match is about to start..." he trailed off as he looked about the ancient Yordle's room.

"Ahanga!" Gnar said, clapping excitedly, and pointing to his table.

Looking over, Twisted Fate noted 3 things about what he saw.

1: On the table was a rather impressive house of cards.

2: It was made of red, blue, and yellow cards.

3: Gnar had stolen his deck of cards.

Twisted Fate stood there, pondering.

Gnar looked up expectantly at the hat-wearing Champion.

"Maga?" he said.

Twisted Fate looked down at Gnar. He seemed to be waiting for his approval.

He considered the last hour he'd spent searching.

He also thought about the expression on little one's face. Gnar was clearly very proud of his creation.

A few moments later, Twisted Fate introduced his hand to his own face, sighed, and said;

"You did a great job, Gnar. Proud of you."

Gnar beamed. "Okanoo, haha! Gnar gada!" he shouted happily, proceeding to dance around his room.

Twisted Fate smiled, but then glanced at the clock on the wall of Gnar's room. The match was starting in 5 minutes.

"Hey Gnar." he said.

Gnar stopped his dancing, and looked curiously at the hat-bearing man of cards.

"Listen Gnar. You did a real great job an' all, but there's a battle soon. I really need those cards. Mind taking down that little creation of yours?" he said, pointing towards Gnar's project.

Gnar cocked his head, looking sadly at Twisted Fate. "Ganaloo, mo? Goova, wabbo!"

"I know your real proud of it an' all, but I really need 'em. And you did steal 'em from me..."

Gnar pouted.

"I'm sorry Gnar, but you really do need to take it down." Gnar looked sadly at his creation, then back at Twisted Fate. He then walked slowly over to his house of cards, and began to dismantle it. When he was finished, he walked glumly over to the owner of said cards, and handed the pile to him.

"Thanks little buddy." the card-wielding champion said, patting Gnar on the head. "Sorry, but these are important. Besides, you really shouldn't take people's stuff without asking."

"Reshoova..." Gnar responded, clearly sounding upset.

He went to go sit on his bed, and Twisted Fate turned to leave.

As he was heading out the door, he looked back. Gnar was absently fidgeting with a corner of his blanket. Twisted Fate stopped, looking at the sad little furball. Hardened as he was, he wasn't heartless.

"Alright, alright. Tell you what-" Twisted Fate said, unable to take seeing how disappointed Gnar was.

Gnar looked up.

"Since you seem real bummed out about this, I'll do something to make it up to you after the match." he said.

Gnar's ears perked up at this. "You know that little ice cream place nearby?" he asked. Thinking for a few moments, Gnar's eyes widened as he put together what the man was saying.

"How about we go there after the fight? A little treat, help cheer you up." Gnar smiled widely, all signs of sadness gone. "Shagdovala! Oga manni maxa!" he exclaimed, jumping up and down happily.

Twisted Fate also smiled.

"Alright, alright. Calm down. The match will take about an hour. You keep yourself entertained until then, and we'll head out when I get back. Sound good?"

"Oga lagga!" Gnar said, having totally forgotten about the cards.

Twisted Fate once again moved to leave the room. As he was leaving, he turned back to Gnar and said; "By the way, in the future, ask before you take things from people." he said.

Gnar nodded. "Alright then. See you when I get back." Twisted Fate said as he shut the door. Gnar sat down to play with his toy cars.

__The hallway, 2 minutes later.__

Twisted Fate thought about everything that had just transpired as he was walking to the summoning platform that would bring him to the battlefield.

He sighed. "Blast that little Yordle. He's just too cute to be mad at!" He said, not really that upset.

Thinking about it, how could anyone stay mad at Gnar? Being cute was just plain unfair.

****Many people will be asking questions like; "What building is this happening in?"****

**"**Ice cream place? What city is this taking place in?"****

** **I don't know. I'm not a master of the lore of LoL. I don't know every inch of Runeterra. The way I envision it is that being a champion is basically their job. That building is like a big dorm or something for when they're on the clock. Of course, they have their own personal residences, like Teemo and the other Yordles live in Bandle City, and Piltover and such, but the building in this is like, their base or whatever.****

****I don't know. Maybe it works some other way in the official...whatever, but I like my interpretation. As for the 'summoning platform', I have no idea how the champs get to the battlefields, so I just assume there's a room somewhere in that building that has a thing similar to the one you spawn in on in-game.****

****Anyway, I hope you enjoyed chapter one of this...thing.********More to come, soon, ideally.****

****Also, if you have any suggestions for adventures Gnar can have, feel free to tell me your thoughts. And please nothing explicit. This is not becoming a rule 34 story.****

****Bye!****


	2. Martial Arts and Boomerangs Don't Mix

**Welcome to chapter two of this...thingy!**

**So, in case some of you don't know what Gnar was saying, I honestly don't know, either. -**

**Gnar's in-game quotes are on his wiki page, so I just use them. I don't know what the quotes actually mean, and I doubt anyone reading this does, either.**

**I'm just going to assume that the other champions understand his vocalizations, and roll with that. As shown where Twisted Fate seemed to be having a conversation with Gnar. He understood, and responded to, what Gnar said, and vice-verse.**

**If you want to know what Gnar is saying, just operate by implied meaning. Use context and reactions from other characters to deduce what he's saying. It's like English class, except a million times more awesome.**

**Anyway, I've rambled enough. On with chapter two!**

Chapter Two: Martial Arts and Boomerangs Don't Mix

"Hya!"

"Hrah!"

"Yah! Wa, hya!"

Gnar watched on from a bush as Lee Sin trained. The blind monk fascinated Gnar. He was without sight, and yet seemed to be able to see just fine. And in battle, his lack of vision didn't hinder him in the slightest, as Gnar had seen when fighting alongside him.

He struck down countless enemy champions without even breaking a sweat, or actually seeing who he was beating the crap out of. Gnar was a bit jealous of his ability, especially since their last game, when Gnar went 4/3, and Lee Sin went 19/1.

"Hrah! Ya!"

Gnar watched still, as the blind martial master practiced a variety of kicks and punches.

"Vimaga..." Gnar muttered to himself. He wanted to go 19/1.

Then, he had an idea. He looked at the blindfold Lee Sin was wearing, and then thought about his own apparel. More specifically, his face. Nothing. Gnar wore no facial accessories. The closest thing was the skull atop his head.

"Onna legga..." Gnar said to himself. "Shubbanuffa! Nakotak, khsaa!" Gnar exclaimed, realizing how he could solve his predicament.

_Rrrrripp._

_**PoV Change, Go!**_

"_Ah, what a nice afternoon."_ Teemo thought to himself, as he strolled through the woods outside their base. Not quite as nice as the forests near his house in Bandle City, and these ones reminded him a bit too much of the woods of Summoner's Rift, but still. Woods were woods, and Teemo loved woods. It was his favorite place to be.

As he was passing by a patch of bushes leading into a small clearing, he heard some activity.

"Wap! Hwa!"

*Thud*

"Raag!"

"_Gnar_?" Teemo thought, the voice sounding much like that of the newest Yordle to join the League.

Teemo peered through the bushes, and the scene he saw unfold before him would certainly have an impact.

Gnar was on the ground, clutching his forehead, and had a strip of cloth tied around his eyes, as well as a strip of roughly equal size missing from the simple garment he wore around his waist. Nearby was Lee Sin, who watched on, arms crossed, looking rather intrigued. Teemo was certain the monk had an eyebrow raised, even if he couldn't see it.

"Vigishu!" Gnar said, standing up. Gnar then assumed what Teemo could only guess was supposed to be a martial art stance of some sort...

_6 seconds later._

_Also, **PoV shift again**._

"Wabbo!" Gnar shouted, his voice muffled due to him being facedown in the dirt. Lee Sin, at this point, sighed, and walked over to the aspiring martial-master.

"What is it you are attempting to achieve here, little one?" he said to Gnar, helping him up.

"Hursh, rao. Okalannomaka." he said to the monk, dusting himself off. Lee Sin nodded. "Goova, reshoova. Gnar gada!" he continued.

"I see. You wish to become stronger in battle. But, why do you believe replicating me will help with this?" Lee Sin asked.

"Shagdovala. Ganaloo mo." he said, gesturing with his arms, as if to imply a large quantity of something.

"Ahh, I understand, now." Lee Sin said. "You are jealous of my performance in yesterday's match." Gnar made a defensive-sounding yelping noise, then sighed and hung his head. "Okanoo..." he said, a bit glumly.

"Listen, little one." Lee Sin said, sitting down to be more face-to-face with Gnar. "Imitating me will not make you more powerful. Becoming stronger is not simply a matter of copying those who are." he said.

Gnar's ears flopped sadly at hearing this.

"However-" Lee sin continued. "-you are not in need of becoming stronger, either." Upon hearing this, Gnar looked curiously at the blind man. "Maga?" he asked.

"Gnar, you are a very strong fighter. But not every champion can win in every circumstance. Sometimes, fighters dominate lane. In other areas, assassins thrive. The tanks stop advances and hold defenses, but can be shredded by a powerful ADC, or effective gank. Do you see my point?" Lee Sin asked.

Gnar looked blankly, his expression saying; 'No, where is this going?' The monk sighed.

"Gnar, you are a very powerful champion, but you cannot honestly expect to win every single time. Everyone loses sometimes. It's not necessarily your fault. Sometimes, things just aren't in your favor."

Gnar looked a bit down.

"And besides, don't you remember that match last week when you went 11/0?" Gnar looked up, pondering this.  
>"Or that time 3 days ago, when you got a Pentakill with your ultimate?" Lee Sin continued.<p>

"Mo'pey..." Gnar said, considering what he had said.

"You don't need to try and become another champion to succeed. You are perfectly fine as you are. But you have to remember that losing is a part of life, and especially a part of League. There will be victories, and losses. Your own fighting style is unique, as is mine, and each has their place. Each is different, and works in different ways.  
>You will never be a Lee Sin, little Yordle, but I will never be a Gnar."<p>

After hearing his little speech, Gnar seemed invigorated. "Gnar! Gnar gada!" he exclaimed, his zeal returning twofold. Lee Sin smiled.

"Now then, if you truly wish to become stronger, why not practice your own abilities, rather than trying to learn mine?" Lee Sin said, handing Gnar his boomerang.

"Ovagarava! Oga manni maxa!" Gnar said. He breathed a few times, concentrating.

He readied his boomerang, and threw it.

...

*THWACK*

_10 minutes later, on-base medical ward._

"_Owww, my head..."_ Teemo muttered weakly, as he was wheeled in on a gurney. Gnar and Lee Sin watched as the semi-conscious Yordle was brought through a set of double doors, vanishing deeper into the facility.

Gnar looked ashamed.

"Do not fret, little one." Lee Sin said, patting Gnar on the head reassuringly. "I'm not sure what exactly it was this time, but I'm certain Teemo did something to deserve that."

"Though, next time, take your blindfold off before you start throwing things."

**And so ends chapter two!**

**Side Note: Before you Teemo-lovers out there are on my ass about this, I must clarify;**

**I myself really like Teemo, but most of the champions really hate him. Understandable, I suppose. ****I just needed to get that out of the way, so no one starts thinking I hate Teemo or anything. Teemo is awesome.  
><strong>

**Moving on! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and there will be another one soon! ****Perhaps involving a certain drunk Rabble-Rouser...**

**Once again, if you have any suggestions for future chapters, feel free to tell me.**

**Thanks for reading, and I'll see you all next time!**


	3. Drunken Yordle-ing

**Welcome, welcome all to chapter 3 of this...thingy.**

**This one's about Gragas. You know, the fat guy with the keg? Yeah, that guy.**

**Legal Blibbity Blabbity Incoming: The author of this story does not condone underage drinking, and is not responsible for any accidents involving underage consumption of alcohol that occur following the reading of this publication, blah blah blah. On with the story!**

Chapter Three: Drunken Yordle-ing

_BUUUURRRRRrrrp._

Gnar's ears perked up at the loud noise. He had been wandering the lower levels of the base, ignoring the warnings of Tristana, who had told him the lower levels were home to some...unsavory types of champions. Gnar wasn't afraid of anything, though, and he was quite the curious one, so he 'borrowed' the key to the door from one of the maintenance workers, (Or, more specifically, his entire ring of keys. Trial and error opened the door eventually) and descended the dark staircase.

The lower levels are almost their own separate base. They had their own kitchens, communal areas, everything.

Currently, he was 2 levels down. He'd been down there for about 30 minutes. Already, he'd passed a large purple...thing, lugging around a bloody cleaver. Gnar was glad he'd avoided him...it.

Gnar was wandering a hallway he'd found, looking for something of interest, when-  
><em>BUUUURRRRRP<em>

"_Well, that was a good one..._" Gnar heard from around a corner. "_Aye, new brew's comin' along well." _Gnar crept closer, curious. The voice was clearer now.

"_Blast tha' Shaco fer ruinin' tha' last batch, though. Tricky lil' bastard'l get 'is, 'e will._"

Gnar recognized the voice. It was Gragas, the big guy that he was top lane with a few days ago.  
>He remembered two key things about the man;<p>

A: Don't piss him off.

B: He smelled horrible.

Still, Gnar wondered what he was doing down here. Granted, he wasn't the most pleasant individual, but he didn't seem like a bad guy. The adventurous little Yordle inched his way up to the corner, not wanting to make Gragas aware of his presence yet.

_BUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRPP_

"_Bleh. Tha' one came outta' nowhere. Now then, where'd I put tha' damn bottle..." _Gnar heard the clinking of glass. "_Ah, there she is. Now then, jus' put tha' in 'ere..._"

_*BOOM*_

"Wap!" Gnar exclaimed, falling back onto his butt after the rather loud explosion blasted him back. "Grrr... vimaga..." he muttered, picking himself up. He went back to listening to Gragas. He heard what sounded like Gragas picking himself up as well.

"_Oof, ah, well, now I know tha' does tha', I s'pose. Ah, damn it all. Now tha's gone and bloody broken..._"

At this point, tired of eavesdropping, Gnar decided to go see what was happening. Rounding the corner of the hallway, he saw through an open door Gragas, surrounded by the remains of a table and a lot of glass, which he presumed was the table's contents. There were also a number of various colored liquids spreading across the floor.

"Blasted merchant. Sold me a sham, 'e did..." Gragas muttered to himself. The large drunkard then turned around. "Now then, lesse' if I can salvage any- oi, what're you doin' down 'ere?" he said, seeing the orange Yordle in his doorway.  
>"Hwa! Er, oga manni maxi. Gnar, ovagarava." Gnar said, stuttering a bit. He wasn't so sure coming down here was a good idea.<br>"Aye, so ye' decided to go pokin' around the lower levels, eh? Well, not tha' brightest of ideas, but at least ya' got some stones on ya'." he said. "Lot o' other champions won't even come down 'ere alone. 'Specially tha' annoyin' lil' spellcaster, Lux. Can't even go down one level ta' grab stuff fer' the cooks." he said, chuckling to himself.

"Ah well, tha' don' matter. Yer here now, ain't ya', and I assume ya' came down 'ere lookin' fer adventure, am I right?" Gragas asked, plopping himself down on a fat armchair.

"Okalannomaka. Fue huego." Gnar said, nodding.

"Alright, I s'pose. Lil' curiosity never hurt anyone. Usually." he said, opening the large keg he always carried.

Gnar had always wondered what was in it. Whatever it was, it smelled weird. Smelled a lot like Gragas himself, now that he thought about it.

"Oi, lil' one." Gragas said, motioning for Gnar to come closer.

"Reshoova?" he asked, hesitant.

"Come over 'ere. Got somethin' fer' ya'." he said.

Gnar was reluctant, but made his way over to the large man.

"Alright then. Give this a taste. Jus' finished it not 10 minutes ago." he said, handing Gnar a flask of some purple liquid.

Opening the lid, Gnar sniffed it's contents. "Beh...Okanoo?" he asked, coughing a bit.

"Ah, don' worry. Won't hurt ya'. Swear on me mum's flower garden." he said, taking a large swig from his keg.

Unsure, but curious as ever, Gnar took a sip of whatever was in the bottle.

"...maga?" Gnar said. It was...weird. It burned his throat, and it was bitter. Gnar didn't like this at all. Was this the stuff Gragas drank all the time? He took another sip, and confirmed that, whatever this was, he didn't like it.

"So, whatta ya' think?" Gragas asked.

"Gnar...goova." he said, shaking his head.

"Heh, I'm not surprised. Strong stuff. Yer' not much of a drinker, are ya', lil' guy?" he asked, taking another gulp from his keg.

"Onna legga. Hursh, rao." Gnar said. He suddenly was starting to feel dizzy, for some reason.

"Startin' t'a feel tha', are ya'? Yeah, lil' guy like you won't take much to-"

_BUUUURRP_

"Keep comin' outta nowhere, they do, bloody 'ell..." he said, once again taking a large drink.  
>"Anyway, ya' best get outta here. In yer' state, lower levels ain't a very safe place t'a be." Gragas said, motioning vaguely towards the door. Gnar went to leave, but found movement difficult. He stumbled, almost falling on his face.<br>"Nakotak..." Gnar muttered, feeling a lot more dizzy than earlier. What was happening?

"Bwahhaa, yer really got, ain't ya'?" Gragas said, laughing heartily.

"Shagdo...vala..." the drunken Yordle slurred.

"Alright, well, off with ya'. Best get ta' tha' top before ya' pass out down 'ere. Don't wanna get found by one a' the more...feral denizens of this place." Gragas said, waving Gnar away.

Gnar barely caught what Gragas had said. What was wrong with him?

Stumbling out the door, Gnar heard the drunkard call one last thing to him; "Aye, and don' be comin' down 'ere again, ya' hear? This place is right dangerous. Not everyone's as welcomin' as me."

Gnar nodded as best he could in his state, and began trying to find his way back to the surface.

_1 hour later, base communal area_

"So Braum, how was your last match? It went well, I presume?" Tristana asked the shield-bearing hulk.

"Yes, indeed it did. Over within 30 minuets. They surrender. Not big surprise." Braum said proudly.

"Well that's good to hear. By the way, have you seen Gnar anywhere?" she asked.

"No, not recently. Last time I saw him was couple hours ago, pestering maintenance worker." he said.

"Huh. Hopefully, Gnar didn't get himself in trouble again. He-"

*Crash*

Everyone looked over towards the door.

"What was that?" Caitlyn asked.

"Sounded like glass, perhaps decorative vase in hallway fell over?" Braum said.

Then, the door opened. In stumbled a very clearly drunk Yordle.

"Gnar!" he exclaimed, before falling forwards onto his face.

"Gnar?!" Tristana shouted, quickly going over to him. She rolled him over.

"Gnar, what happened?"

"Shufnufbanabbguunga..." he slurred, before passing out.

"Wow. He is smashed." Caitlyn said, snickering.

Tristana glared at her.

"I believe I can deduce what has occurred here." Heimerdinger said, reaching down. When he stood up, he was holding a ring of keys. "It seems our prehistoric ally somehow acquired a set of keys." he said, jingling them for emphasis.

"Those must be keys maintenance man lose earlier. I remember this clearly. I spend 45 minutes helping look for them." Braum said.

"Oh no, he didn't go down into the lower levels, did he? I told him not to!" Tristana said.

"In all likelihood, that is what has transpired." Heimerdinger said. "Assuming his adolescent mind functions in generally the same manner as roughly 95.542% of the population of sentient beings yet to reach adulthood, your telling him not to enter the lower levels caused him to develop a strong desire to do exactly what he was instructed not to do, which, in this case, is enter the lower levels of this facility. This is mostly due to the high levels of untempered curiosity children possess, especially high in our friend here's case, combined with the infamous rebellious nature that comes with adolescence." he rattled off.

Caitlyn stared blankly, and blinked.

"English, please?" Tristana said.

"In short, he say this your fault." Braum said simply.

"WHAT?!" Tristana shouted angrily, turning on the scientist.

"No, I-I did not mean to imply this was in any way your doing-" he began, backing away slowly from the angry blue female.

"Alright, let's all calm down here. We have more important things to worry about right now than who's fault this is. Namely, the unconscious Yordle on our floor." Ashe said, trying to defuse the situation.

Tristana sighed, and breathed a few times. Heimerdinger stayed on the other side of the room, though.

"Actually..." Caitlyn said, pointing to the now-vacant spot where Gnar used to be.

**CLIFFHANGER!**

**Muahaha!**

**Where did Gnar go? I honestly don't know. And you might never, either.**

**Cliffhangers like this are perfectly evil. And this series needs some evil in it. Though that may be coming in future chapters. After all, there's a certain Master of Evil who recently got a new skin. And we all know how kids love video games...**

***OBVIOUS HINT IS OBVIOUS***

**I hope you enjoyed, and I'll see you all in chapter 4!**


	4. Gnar Defeats The Final Boss

**And we arrive at chapter 4!**

**In celebration of our favorite Evil Wizard's new skin, here's a chapter I wrote about it!**

Gnar Defeats The Final Boss

_The night was pitch black, and the base quiet, as most champions slept soundly. But not all..._

_For looming high above the base, upon his mighty Tree Branch of Evil Vantage Points, was the terrifying shadow that struck fear into the hearts of all (small % of 5 year olds)._

_Veigar! The Tiny Master of Evil! He looked down into the window of his target. A young Yordle, by the name of Gnar, who, instead of sleeping, was busy playing the new Techmaturgical video game console he had received as a gift, honoring his 10 win streak the previous week._

_But this gift would soon turn sour, for Veigar had a most devilish of plans. Masterfully climbing down from his perch (falling onto his ass), he set in motion his plan._

_Firstly, creeping ever so silently across the grounds, he found the tool shed. Opening his Pouch of Evildoing Tools of Evil (bag with a stolen hammer in it), he expertly picked the lock to the shack (smashed the lock in with said stolen hammer)._

_His evil instincts guided him through the darkness, directly to the implement he required (stumbled around blindly, hit over the head by a falling trowel, until, by pure luck, grabbing the correct tool)._

_Now, he set out towards the source of little Gnar's fun. The power box behind the base!_

_He quickly opened the box (struggled with the latch for 5 minutes before smacking it open with his staff), and, though his vast and nigh-limitless knowledge, cut only the wire which was needed (cut power to 3 champions' rooms and the 3F bathroom until getting Gnar's by sheer chance)._

"Muahaha! I am truly the Master of Evil! Now that Phase One of my master plan is complete, I can begin the even-more-evil PHASE TWO! MUAHAHA-"

_**Window Opens**_

"Oi, shut up down there before I come shove that staff up your ass!"

_**Window Slams Shut**_

-_- Ahem. _Veigar glared angrily at the window above him, before moving on with his plan.  
>His time was too valuable for such underlings!<em>

_5 minutes later, back on his tree branch, Veigar observed the fluffy orange Yordle, who was trying to figure out why his console had stopped working. Veigar grinned evilly._

"Now is the time to begin Phase Two..." _he muttered. His plan had no chance of failure now!_

_The Tiny Master of Evil effortlessly strode (shimmied carefully) out across the branch, now only inches from Gnar's bedroom window. The poor little Yordle was holding his controller sadly, really bummed out at losing all his progress.  
>He had been on the final boss, too.<em>

_Veigar silently opened the window into Gnar's room, silently stepped inside, and silently readied himself to make his grand entrance._

_Taking his stance (striking an awkward pose, trying to look epic), Veigar announced his presence with a force to shake the ground!_

"Ahaha! Foolish little Yordle! I, Veigar, Master of Evil, have ruined your fun times!  
>Now cry, cry at the loss of your precious saved game! Muahaha! Haha...ha...haa...huh?"<p>

Gnar was not crying. Nor was he cowering in fear. Instead, he glared rather murderously at the tiny little being that had cost him all his hard work. He felt his Rage building, until he noticed something;  
>Veigar looked a whole lot like the boss he was about to fight.<p>

Gnar grinned a grin of pure elation, as only one who had their greatest foe cornered could.

"No, stay back! I am the Master of Evil! I-"

Veigar began to slowly back out onto his branch, when-

"VIMAGA! RAWRR!"

-he was tackled out of a 2 story window by a very angry orange fluffball.

_The following morning..._

"So, any idea what happened to the grounds?" Caitlyn asked during breakfast.

"No one knows." Twisted Fate responded.

"All they can figure out is that something really big tore through there. They found a lot of blood, too."

"Huh. Strange." she responded.

"Hey Gnar, you see anything last night?"

Gnar looked up. "Okanoo. Oga manni maxa." he shrugged.

"Oh, you beat your new game? That's great. Nice job, Gnar." Ashe said.

Gnar smirked. He had beaten the final boss after all.

**I love this chapter. It was really fun to write, especially narrating Veigar's actions.  
>Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter too. See you all in the next one, and don't forget to tell me any suggestions you have for future chapters.<strong>

**Bye!**


	5. It's going! It's going! It's Draven?

**And here we are at chapter 5. Yes, the fantasmical, fantastical, fantabulistic, number 5!**

**I've been playing a lot of Vel'Koz recently, but can't really come up with anything for him.**

**So this chapter will not be about Vel'Koz, unfortunately. Awesome and powerful as you are, you are completely useless for this story. Sorry, my floating eyeball buddy. :(**

**Anywho, this chapter was requested by someone named Raja-Ulat. It's about Lulu, Gnar, and everyone's favorite egotistical executioner, Draven!**

**Whoosh~**

It's Going! It's Going! It's...Draven?

"Let's check out our featured matchup of the day: Draven versus... some loser." said Primetime Draven, taking a fighting stance against the little Yordle he was against at top.

Gnar growled, baring his teeth at the cocky egotist.

_**Le fight scene inbound...**_

Gnar dived to the side, narrowly dodging Draven's first microphax. The second came spinning in not far behind. Gnar yelped when the spinning weapon clipped his arm.

"Uh oh. Looks like Draven's opponent isn't quite on his game today." Draven said, laughing.

Gran grit his teeth, growling at the cocky announcer.

"Vimaga!" he shouted, throwing his boomerang. He heard a satisfying crack as it struck Draven square in the jaw.

"Gah! You little- ahem. Draven's foe lands a _lucky _blow. Sadly for him, Draven is unfazed." he said, heavily emphasizing the word 'lucky'.

Gnar smiled, raising another boomerang.

Before he could throw it, Draven loosed a microphax in his direction. Gnar tried to dodge, but it caught him on the arm.

"Hwa! Bagya!" he shouted, clutching his wounded limb. He scrabbled backwards, trying to get to the safety of his turret. His path was cut off by another ax landing in front of him, nearly decapitating him.

"Ooo, so close. Draven's cowardly foe almost got a real close shave, there." he said, chuckling at his own joke.

Gnar felt his rage building. This cocky dingus was really getting on his nerves. The wounded Yordle stood, raising his boomerang again. He was so close to turning. He could feel his form getting ready to shift.

Then, out of nowhere-

"Wa-AHHH!" Gnar screamed, as Draven's ultimate tore into him.

"A fantastic ult from Draven!" Gnar heard as he lay, bleeding on the ground.

Draven struck a pose.

"Haha! He's just showin' off, now!" Gnar heard faintly, as the life faded from his form and respawn took him.

_**One respawn time later...**_

"Okalannomaka! GrrrRAWR!" Gnar shouted, clawing at the ground.

Stupid cocky Draven.

"Hey little buddy, need some help there?" a feminine voice said from behind him.

Gnar turned around to see Lulu looking concernedly at him.

"Oga manni maxa. Hursh, rao." Gnar explained. "Onna legga..." he continued with a dark tone in his voice, pointing towards his lane.  
>He really hated that Draven.<p>

"Hm." Lulu muttered, stroking her chin thoughtfully. "Aha!" she said a few moments later, snapping her fingers. "I've got just what you need. Follow me." she said, taking Gnar by the paw and leading him off towards top.

_**Back at top lane**_

"It looks like Draven is taking a Draven break." he said, yawning and leaning against a tree after finishing off yet another minion wave.

"Ahh. Draven really is number-"

*THWACK*

"Gah! What the-?!" Draven exclaimed, holding his mouth after being struck by the boomerang.  
>"Why do you always aim for the jaw?!" he shouted angrily.<p>

"Shugi, shugi, shugi! Hahaha!" Gnar called from the bush nearby.

"Damn little... Ahem. It seems Draven's opposition at top lane has returned for a second helping of Draven." he said, readying his microphaxes.

Gnar strode fearlessly forwards, not phased by Draven this time. He had a plan.

"Hmph. Seems Draven's opponent isn't afraid of him this time. That is something he'll surely regret shortly." announced Draven, starting a spin on one of his axes.

Gnar raised a boomerang. "Shubbanuffa..." he muttered angrily. This would work. He hoped.

Draven spun another ax, smiling cockily at Gnar.

He growled defiantly, throwing his boomerang.

Draven dodged it easily.

"Ha! Seems Draven's foe really should really practice more on his-"

*CRACK*

Draven's taunting was cut short by the boomerang striking him in the back of the head.

From the ground, Draven glared murderously at Gnar. "Grrr...you'll pay for that one!" he shouted furiously, abandoning his announcer persona.

He threw both of axes straight at Gnar, who leapt over them with ease.

"Shoo shoo, bahnah! Nyahaha!" Gnar said tauntingly, sticking his tongue out at Draven.

Draven was twitching with rage at this point.

"I'll kill you!" he screamed, charging the fluffy little Yordle.

Gnar nodded towards the bush, and light began emanating from it. Gnar felt a feeling similar to when he transformed begin to crawl over him.

"I'll shred you, you little runt!" he screamed.

"Grr...RAWR! ARAWR!" Gnar howled, as he grew massively in size. Although this time, he didn't become a raging hulk of a being. This was just a really big Gnar.

"I'll kill you! Stupid...little...little...big?" Draven spluttered confusedly, staring in awe at the giant before him.

"Oka lanno maka!" The giant Yordle thundered, grabbing a screaming Draven, and holding him high into the air.

"Ahhh! Let me go! Put me down! I'll kill you!" he screamed, pounding his fists against Gnar's paw.

"Oga lagga." Gnar agreed, smiling evily.

He drew his arm back like a baseball pitcher.

"Wait wait, no! I didn't mean it! Don't!" Draven pleaded, as Gnar threw him as far as he could into the forests that bordered Summoner's Rift.

Draven's screams faded into the distance as Gnar shrunk back down to his normal, cute little self.

Gnar laughed, waving to the fading speck that was Draven. Lulu then emerged from the bushes, laughing as well.

"Nice shot!" she said, slapping him on the back.

"Fue huega Lulu okalannomaka!" he said, thanking the Yordle sorceress, and pulling her into a hug.

"Haha, okay, okay!" she said, laughing and trying to free herself from Gnar's rib-cracking embrace. She smiled.  
>This was why she loved being a Support. Why just kill people? It was way more satisfying to help others get kills.<p>

"Now then, lets go take their tower." she said.

"Gnaaaaar!" the orange Yordle responded with zeal, ready to go kick some more purple team ass.

**Aaaand that was chapter 5. I went a little more on the serious side for this one, but still tried to keep it funny. It felt good writing this. Draven really was a prick, and sending him flying over the horizon was most enjoyable to me. Normal Draven is tolerable, usually, but Primetime Draven is just...too much Draven.**

**This was suggested by Raja-Ulat. Well, the Lulu part was. He/she just asked for Lulu, and this was where my brain went. ****Hope you liked it, Mr. or Ms. Ulat. And I hope everyone else enjoyed it, too.**

**Remember, if you have any suggestions for future chapters, feel free to tell me your ideas. I can work with most any level of detail, but more specific suggestions are much easier, and help make sure the story you get is what you wanted.**

**Anyway, I'll see you all in the next chapter.**

**Bye!**


	6. The Yordle On Your Back

**Hello all! Sorry for the delay in this chapter, life kinda...well, life is a dick. :/**

**Anyway, this one was requested by an Anon, and is about Nunu. Enjoy!**

The Yordle On Your Back

"The yeti knows the way!"

Gnar growled in the direction of top as he respawned. That Nunu was getting really annoying.

Just as Gnar was about to head off to lane-

"Grah! Blast that yeti!" Jayce shouted, brandishing his Mercury Hammer.

"You'll pay for that!" he threatened, starting to run towards lane.

Gnar sat down next to Doran's. He needed a plan.

_A short while later_

"Bah! You got lucky!" Jayce shouted again, having just respawned. Once again running off towards lane, Gnar got an idea. He thought about Nunu, and how he fought. Then he looked at Jayce.

"Maga..." he muttered.

"Reshoova!" he exclaimed, jumping to his feet, and running after Jayce.

**PoV Change GO!**

"Cursed yeti. I'll show him, I swear it on-"

"Vimaga!" *Thud*

"Gah! What the-" Jayce shouted, spinning around wildly, grabbing at whatever was on his back.

"Hursh, rao!" Gnar said from his shoulders, bopping him with his boomerang.

Jayce stopped groping wildly for the apparent attacker, looking up at the orange Yordle looming over his head.

"...What exactly do you think you're doing?" he asked, sounding more than a bit annoyed.

"Gnar! Jaacya, gada! Nuu nakotak!" he said, pointing forwards and smacking Jayce with his boomerang again.

Realizing what Gnar's thought process was, Jayce proceeded to introduce his own hand to his face.

"You cannot seriously believe I'm going to- Ouch!" his protesting was cut short by another bop in the head from Gnar.

"Wabbo!" he said, pointing forwards again.

Jayce sighed. "Fine." he said, defeated. "Lead the way."

Gnar's eyes lit up. "Ahanga!" he said, once again hitting Jayce with his boomerang.

"Gah- but only if you stop hitting me!" Jayce said, swatting hopelessly at the Yordle on his back.

"...goova."

_Later, at lane_

"..."

Nunu and Willump stared blankly, unable to fully comprehend what was in front of them. Before them was a truly odd sight. An orange Yordle riding upon a large man with a Cannon, not seeming to understand the hilarity of the sight.

"...AAAHAhaa, Hahahahaa, are...are you...haha... are you SERIOUS?" Nunu laughed, almost falling off his yeti, who was laughing as well.

Their laughter was cut short by a ball of lightning colliding with Willump's face, almost knocking him off his feet.

They stopped laughing rather abruptly, and glared furiously at the duo.

"Bah, fine! If that's how you want to-"

*THWACK*

Nunu's retort was cut short by a boomerang rather forcefully meeting his jaw.

"Grrrrrr... Draven was right, you do aim for the jaw..." he said, holding his mouth.

Gnar smirked.

"Fine, let's go!" Nunu shouted, charging the pair.

Gnar looked at Jayce, and the guardian of Piltover nodded.

_**Le badass fight scene incoming**_

"Without fear!" Jayce said, firing another charged shot at the yeti.

Willump tried to dodge, but it caught him in the shoulder, making him stumble to the ground.

"GRAAAH!" the angry yeti shouted, standing back up to face the attackers, more angry than wounded. Sadly for him, he brought his face directly into another boomerang.

"AARRGH!" he roared, knocked backwards, Nunu nearly falling from his seat.

"Shoo shoo, bahanh! Nyahaha!" Gnar called, laughing.

"A fine shot!" Jayce said, transforming his weapon. "Powering up!" he said, charging with determination.

Nunu tried to blast him with ice, but missed.

"I'm going to enjoy this!" Jayce said with a smirk, leaping into the air. Nunu's eyes widened.

"Bring down the HAMMER!" he shouted, smacking the yeti hard enough to send him flying backwards.

"GRRrrr...GRawr! Gnaaar!" the Yordle upon Jayce's back growled, pounding his chest.

"For Piltover!" Jayce shouted, flinging Gnar from his back, who transformed mid-flight, coming down upon their adversaries with a crushing smash.

"GNAAAR!" he bellowed, ult'ing Nunu into a wall.

"Feel the THUNDER!" Jayce yelled, firing a final bolt through his Acceleration Gate, straight at the downed yeti.

Nunu barely had time to form a horrified expression before the ball of energy blasted him into oblivion.

"Shagdovala!" Gnar exclaimed happily, turning back into his normal self.

"Haha! Tomorrow is bright! A shame you won't get to see it, Nunu!" Jayce shouted, raising his hammer triumphantly into the air.

_Later, at dinner_

"Remind me to never doubt you again, little Yordle." Jayce said to Gnar, who looked up from his food.

"You may be small, but your mind is one bright spark. No one else would have thought of a plan so...outlandish."

Gnar smiled.

**Well, that was something. I'd actually come up with a story pretty similar to this one quite a while ago, but I never really did anything with it until the Anon suggested it.**

**Sorry it's a bit short, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway. And once again, sorry for the delay. Stuff, y'know...**

**Remember, if you have any suggestions for future chapters, go ahead and tell me your ideas.**

**I'll see you all in the next one! Bye bye!**


	7. Vocaloid Gnar

**Hello, and welcome to chapter 7!**

**Enjoy this epic tale, as our hero has an encounter with a force of true darkness and evil.  
><strong>**Not Veigar.**

**Important Note: I take no credit for any music or characters used in this chapter.**

_**Whoosh~**_

"Mo?" Gnar said. He had been walking back to his room, when he heard strange noises coming from farther down the hallway. He usually wasn't out this late.

"_Sekai heiwa wo tori modosu tame..."_

He cocked his head. It sounded like music. He walked past his room, closer to the odd sound.

"_Anata no tame ni sekai no tame ni..."_

It was definitely some kind of music, but the words were totally alien to him. It just sounded like gibberish. As he got closer, it continued to get louder.

"_Anata no PAATII wa zenmetsu shimashita..."_

Gnar stopped in front of the door the music seemed to be emanating from. For some reason, the door strongly unsettled him, as if something very evil were behind it. It almost seemed like darkness were leaking from the cracks around the edges of the door.

"_Keizariryoku, genjiryoku tomo ni moushibunnai waku ga kuni wa touzen, yuushuu na jinzai mo juntaku..."_

He hesitated, before knocking. He waited.

No response.

"_Yoyuu shaku shaku usurawaraide..."_

He breathed deeply, then opened the door-

"_HORITTO, HORITTO, HORITTO, BAKKA.  
>SOURYO WA HORITTO BAKKA DE BAKA NANO?<br>OU NO ATASHI WO NEMURASU NANTE.  
>ANTARA ITTAI NANISAMA? SATE WA MUHON KA?"<em>

"Waa!" Gnar exclaimed, almost being knocked backwards by the sheer volume of the music.

Regaining his footing, he looked inside the room. Or, tried to, at least. It was almost pitch black.

Looking closer, he saw that the room itself wasn't dark. Rather, the room seemed to be made of darkness, a swirling void of near-emptiness.

"_SEKAI HEIWA WO TORIMODOSU TAME,  
>OKUNI NO HEIWA WO MAMORU TAME,<br>SAIZENSEN NI MI WO TOUJIMASE!  
>SHIJIRITSU APPU WA!"<em>

He saw little furniture, save for a desk, which held a Techmaturgical computer of sorts, and some posters along the walls, the colorful characters upon which sharply contrasted the room which they decorated.

He also saw a bed, of sorts, seemingly made of shadows as well, near the far wall. Relaxing on this bed was someone he recognized, but had always chosen to avoid.

Nocturne, The Eternal Nightmare.

He had his eyes closed, and was tapping his hand on the bed in time with the beat of the song, which was blaring from a set of speakers on a small table nearby.

Gnar tried to step inside, but felt an intense pain the moment his flesh touched the darkness, and almost passed out.

"Reshoova! Wa..."

He felt dizzy.

At this point, Nocturne lazily opened one eye, but upon seeing Gnar, sprung up, turning off the music and flying at him with blinding speed.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE_!?"_ he shouted, furious, blades erupting from his arms.

"O-ovagrava. O-okalannomaka!" Gnar said frantically, stumbling over his words. He was terrified.

"_Followed my music, did you? It's none of your business what I listen to!" _Nocturne yelled, blades ready to turn Gnar into Yordle fillet.

"Maga, raag! Wabbo!" Gnar said, panicked.

Nocturne glared at him, considering what he had said. He lowered his arms, and his blades receded slightly back into his body.

"_Hmph. Curiosity killed the Yordle, you know? You shouldn't be out wandering this late. Who knows what's in the darkness, after all..." _he said, smirking at Gnar, who looked ready to die from sheer terror.

"Hursh, rao..." he said.

"_I ought to kill you, but...I suppose I'll let you go. This time." _The shadow said, turning away and floating back in the direction of his bed.

"_Now get out of here, before I change my mind! Be thankful I don't feel like cleaning blood off my doorway tonight."_

Gnar stood up, still trembling.

"O-oga manni maxa?"

Nocturne turned around.

"_Gah- are you stupid? I said go! Do you WANT to become the base's new wallpaper?" _he shouted.

"L-lagga..."

Nocturne facepalmed, before floating back over to Gnar.

"_Fine. What do you want?_" he said, sounding annoyed. "_You have 10 seconds before I gut you. Make it quick._"

"Shagdovala?" Gnar asked, pointing towards the speakers.

"_You want to know what I was listening to?"_

Nocturne sighed.

"_Fine. It was a Vocaloid song. 'Death Should Not Have Taken Thee'. Now shoo!" _he said, motioning for Gnar to leave.

"Ve- va...Vocaoidoo?" Gnar asked.

"_My god, you really must have a death wish. The Vocaloids are Japanese computer programs that people use to make music. They're like singing robots. Now go away!" _Nocturne said.

"Jappana?" Gnar said. Nocturne kept using names and words he'd never heard before. Gnar was confused.

"_You're really not going to give up, are you? Yes, 'Japan'. It's a country from a world called 'Earth'. I spent a lot of time there before I came here, and then...well, I'd rather not discuss how become involved with the League." _Nocturne said.

"Ovagarava?"

"_Are you serious? You want to hear my music?"_

Gnar nodded.

Nocturne sighed again.

"_Well, I'm clearly not going to be rid of you anytime soon. I could just kill you, but the Summoners don't like when I kill champions outside of combat. Respawn doesn't work outside of battle. And, unfortunately, they have the ability to make my existence rather...unpleasant."_

Nocturne floated off into the darkness.

"_Wait there."_

He returned a few moments later with some kind of glowing orb, and threw it with rather unnecessary force at Gnar, knocking the Yordle down.

"Wa! Vigishu!" Gnar said, picking himself up from the ground.

"_Oh, shut up about it. You wanted to hear my music, didn't you? I'll play you one song. That's it. And that little orb there will allow you to enter my room..mostly..unharmed. But if any part of you should find itself outside it's light, well..."_

Nocturne grinned evilly.

Gnar looked at the orb, and how it flooded the hall with a rather bright light. Staying inside it would be easy.

Nocturne motioned for him to enter. Gnar held the orb rather tightly as he stepped inside. Nocturne closed the door behind him.

Immediately, he felt...strange.

"_Welcome to my humble realm." _Nocturne said with an exaggerated bow.

"Vr...vrooboo?" Gnar muttered, feeling weak.

He then noticed his bubble of light was a lot smaller than he expected.

"_That little light's a tad weaker in here than out there, isn't it? By the way, if you were wondering about that sickly feeling, it's quite simple. Nobody is supposed to come in here but me. It's my dimension. My little plane of existence. Not even the Summoners have influence over me here. Sadly, they only allowed me to manifest my realm in this room. But, I've done what I can with the place." _he said, indicating the utter blackness.

"_This used to be a broom closet." _he explained, glaring murderously upwards at seemingly nothing.

Gnar steadied himself. What had he gotten himself into?

"_Now then, you wanted music, pull up a seat and shut up."_

Nocturne said, waving his hand. Gnar looked down, and saw the darkness parting below him, exposing rather old looking plank flooring.

With another wave, a dark purple-colored cushion slid out from the shadows.

"_I suppose we've never really had a proper introduction, have we? Of course, you need none. I already know full well who you are. That little computer over there is still connected, by means I shan't disclose, to the world I mentioned earlier; Earth. Their internet has been raving about you ever since you got here." _Nocturne said, pointing at his desk.

"_Anything cute, fuzzy, fluffy, or similarly disgusting instantly eradicates what meager intelligence the denizens of that world possess."_

Nocturne turned to Gnar.

"_But who ever pays attention to me? Nobody. And that's exactly the way I like it. However, that also means no one really knows anything about me. So, of course, a special introduction is required for one such as myself."_

Nocturne materialized a top hat out of nothing.

"_Now then..."_

He snapped his fingers, and music began playing from the speakers again. Though it wasn't what Gnar had heard before. The 'Vocaloids' as Nocturne had called them. This sounded more like-

_**Que Dr. Facilier Nocturne!**_

"_Don't you disrespect me, little Yordle. Let me make that clear. You're in my world now, not your world. And I'm exactly what you ought to fear..."_

Gnar was seriously reconsidering his life decisions.

"_Sit down at my table,"_

An ancient-looking end table flew out from the darkness.

"_Put your mind at ease,"_

"Wah!" Gnar exclaimed, as the cushion below him shot upwards, a chair made of the same darkness that filled the room forming beneath it.

"_If you relax it will enable me to do-_

Nocturne flew into Gnar's bubble of light, uncomfortably close to the frightened Yordle.

_-anything I please."_

Nocturne grinned and snapped his fingers, a circle of blades erupting around Gnar, just shy of turning him into spaghetti.

"Nakotak!_" _Gnar shouted, clutching his orb of light, as if it would somehow protect him.

"_I'm feeling generous, little one, so here's a bit of advice: You'd do well to learn pretty fast that some folk are best given their personal space." _Nocturne said, snapping his fingers again. The music stopped, the blades retracted into the emptiness, and his hat vanished in a puff.

"_Now then. Sit back, enjoy, and shut your face, before I turn you into Yordle paste."_

Another snap, and the little orb brightened to illuminate a much more comfortably sized area, and floated out of Gnar's grasp. It hovered above his head in a rather ominous manner.

"_Music time!" _Nocturne said, and appeared back in his relaxed position on his bed with a _whoosh._

He waved a hand in the direction of the speakers, and a tune that sounded like it came from one of his video games started up. Nocturne's eyes started to glow, and he pointed his hand at Gnar.

"Wa...wabb..." Gnar tried to mutter.

His vision faded out, to be replaced by strange, colorful sights.

He saw a strangely pixelated person with yellow hair standing before a throne...

**WARNING: I'm not good at translating Japanese. What you'll be reading ahead is my attempt at copying down what they were saying in the song in Romaji. Sorry if it sucks. ;-;**

**I highly recommend playing the song while reading this next part. Just alt-tab and pull it up on Youtube.  
>It's called 'Death Should Not Have Taken Thee'.<strong>

**This is NOT my song, and I take no credit for it.**

**All I take credit for is my (probably horrible) attempt at writing the lyrics in Romaji.**

**(The words separated by a slash are overlapped)**

* * *

><p>Oo! Shinde shimau no wa nasakenai!<br>San, ni, ichi, AHHH!

Ou!  
>Nani?<br>HELP!  
>Nanigotoja?<br>Hii.  
>Un.<br>Hime ga sarawarerumashitaa. / Yuusha wa?  
>Imasen.<br>Un, souda! / Ee..  
>Kakunaru ue wa omae ga yuusha da!<br>Setteihoukai…!

Saa sono takarabako no nakami to kono nakenashi no kane de tabidatte nakama wo sagashite bakemon taoshite…  
>Tekitou janaeka.<p>

Tonikaku komattara machi no hitobito ni hanashikakeyouze?  
>Bosu to ka zenzen taoseru! Naoseru!<br>Majide!

Ibatte ibatte ibatte touzen!  
>Datte jissai ni ichiban erai kara!<br>Hitokoto mitaku itte kureruze!  
>Mattaku motte ue kara mesen sugiru ze…<p>

Keikenchi keikenchi keikenchi tsunde!  
>Motto kukkyou na nakama sagashitamae!<br>Tenyuuka watashi wa ippeisotsu desu yuukyuukyuu ka ga? DERIITO! DERIITO!

Sonata ga RASUBOSU wo taoshitekure hi wo tanoshimi ni matte orozoi!

Sekai heiwa wo tori modosu tame,  
>okuni no heiwa wo mamoru tame,<br>ichiban ushiro de shiki wo torimasu.  
>Sonna no keikenchi wo tsutaemashou!<p>

Anata no tame ni sekai no tame ni,  
>tatakau bokura no aikokushin!<br>Nakama mo shinde zetsumetsunzen,  
>yappari REBERU ga tarinee…<p>

Anata no PAATII wa zenmetsu shimashita.  
>Oo, kamisama yo! AMEN.<p>

Oo! Shindeshimau to wa nasakenai!  
>Sasureba sonata ni mou ichido  Hai hai…  
>kikai wo ataeyou!  Ousama!  
>Nandesuka?<br>Mou! …mou muri desu.

Ee~! Yowane wo haku to wa motto nasakenaaaaai!

Keizariryoku, genjiryoku tomo ni moushibunnai waku ga kuni wa touzen, yuushuu na jinzai mo juntaku!  
>Jinbou atsuine!<p>

Tada, hitotsu manseiteki na mondai wa kokkagenshuu no honpou sa.

Yokui eba muku, waruku ieba…  
>(O baka)<p>

Shoushinshoumei, zenjinrui wa sentou minzoku, iwazu mo gana... / OK?

Kyouchouseiya junnousei ga juuyou nante?  
>Ukiyo wa KUSOGEE ka?!<p>

Tsugi no REBERU ni naru ni wa, ato sen pointo no keiken ga, sara ni wa motto jikoshuchou ga hitsuyou jana!

Kujikeruna, OK?

TERISSA, BOROSSO, ZANSHI, PARONTO!  
>Mahoutsukai mo tsukaimon ni natte kita ga.<br>Yoyuu shaku shaku usurawaraide, kotaku bakkana rabete shaku ni sawaruze…

HORITTO, HORITTO, HORITTO, bakka.  
>Souryo wa HORITTO bakka de baka nano?<br>Ou no atashi wo nemurasu nante.  
>Antara ittai nanisama? Sate wa muhon ka?<p>

Boku wa yuusha ja arimasen.  
>Mushiro ou ga yuusha dato omoi maasu!<p>

Sekai heiwa wo torimodosu tame,  
>okuni no heiwa wo mamoru tame,<br>saizensen ni mi wo toujimase.

Shijiritsu APPU wa me ni mieta! / (OIKURA)

Keneki no tame okane, no tame ni, tataku ousama nani wo miru?  
>Konoe mo hinshi zetsumetsunzen, shinde shimau to wa nasakenaaaaai!<br>Sekai heiwa wo torimodosu tame,  
>anata no egao wo mamoru tame,<br>maou gunkan renshuuhou wo inochi kara ni kaki atsume...

Kyou mo kyou to te chinzashiteiru makoto no yuusha wo matteiru.  
>Tariki hongan de wa arimasen, washira ja yatsura nya kana wanae.<p>

* * *

><p>Gnar clapped as the song concluded, his vision returning to normal.<p>

"Fue...huega...!" Gnar said. He felt dizzy, but he was happy. That was incredible!

"_Didn't know I could do that, did you? Sadly, it only works in here. I can imagine so many fun uses for that in battle." _Nocturne said.

"Ahanga! Oga manni maxa!" Gnar said excitedly.

"_You want another one? Hmph. Sorry, but that's not happening. Be glad you got what you got. Honestly, what you should have gotten was a blade through the gut, so don't get greedy." _Nocturne said, snapping his fingers again, and the door opened.

"_Now get out of here, before I decide I need a new fur doormat." _he said, one of his blades sprouting from his arm.

Gnar jumped, and scrambled for the door.

When he reached the doorway, he looked over his shoulder.

"Okanoo?"

Nocturne thought for a moment, then rolled his eyes.

"_Fine. Come back tomorrow night, and I'll play you another song."_

Gnar clapped happily, and went on his way back towards his room, shutting the door behind him.

"_-or I might turn you into a fillet and feed you to Baron Nashor. We'll see what happens."_

**Whew! That was something. This chapter was one pain in the butt. But it was fun nonetheless. Japanese is tricky. Tell me how I did. Did I suck? Or am I a pro?  
>There's been a bunch of new Vocaloid songs coming out lately, and a lot of them are totally freaking awesome!<strong>

**I've also gotten into playing Nocturne lately. Well, not 'lately', technically. A bit over a week ago.  
>My account is temporarily banned because some dickheads got pissed at me and reported me for stuff I didn't do. I get my account back on the 29th.<br>LoL may be a great game, but it is FILLED with absolute pricks.**

**And sorry for the big delay between chapters. I've had some crap going on IRL, namely a couple hospital visits. Don't worry, I'm not dying or anything. Anyway, I'm not going to bum you guys out with my illness.**

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I'll see you all in the next one.**

**(I expect 'Vocaloid Gnar' fanart to start coming out because of this chapter)**

**Remember to tell me any suggestions you have for future chapters.**

**Bye!**


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